You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
