you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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