Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
