I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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