Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
