I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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