people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize