i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
