I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize