There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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