Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You need a sexual gate keeper
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
