Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
