If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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