Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
