your parents love me but you hate me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
there is glitter all over my balls
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