Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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