we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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