There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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