would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
God, I missed his penis.
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