she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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