Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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