My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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