Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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