ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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