The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
