morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
