My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
