Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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