tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
