I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
