No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
