For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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