well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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