Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
