I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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