Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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