I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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