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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha, bad night?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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• (310): View more from California

  Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

  (310): View more from California

  Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes

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• (716): View more from New York

  I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon 

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places

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• (407): View more from Florida

  The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.

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