In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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