alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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