At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
