I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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