Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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