Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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