I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
