Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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