3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
