yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm having to shit out rocks
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
