a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
