remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
