I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
