Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
