I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
