remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
