I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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