i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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