I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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