i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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