I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
operation harelip BJ is a go
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want to make out with him forever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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