I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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