I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
