the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
