Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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