I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
