cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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