Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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